Thursday, March 24, 2005
On the way to writing a political story, I discovered a math joke.
The joke can be found on more than 100 Internet sites and has made its way around the world in various forms.
Recently, it made its way into a controversial publication that was distributed in Frankfort.
Frankfort Mayor Ray Rossi, whose name is all over this publication, claims he did not pay for it and did not read everything in it before distribution.
He did write two articles for the "newspaper" and acknowledges it was published by a close friend.
"I only told him I wanted it to be positive," Rossi said. "And I think it was positive."
Not everyone would agree.
For example, a Frankfort resident told me he was offended by a "column" written by someone identified only as The Village Outlook staff commentator "Tippi."
The column takes the form of a joke, describing why a fast-food cashier at a burger joint couldn't figure out how to make change.
Tippi then describes why the teaching of math in America has failed students over a period of decades.
"Teaching math in 1950," the joke begins. "A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4-5 of the price. What is his profit?
"Teaching math in 1960. A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4-5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
"Teaching math in 1970. A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
"Teaching math in 1980. A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your buttignment: Underline the number 20.
"Teaching math in 1990. By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for clbutt participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the loggers cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers.)
"Teaching math in 2005: El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de product es ..."
(I am told by someone who knows Spanish that the grammar, spelling and word usage in that sentence are all wrong.)
Anyway, the punchline of the column is:
"And we wonder why jobs requiring intelligence are being outsourced?"
The Frankfort resident who called me said he liked Mayor Rossi, who is running for re-election.
"But we just had a huge controversy regarding a school board member who lives in Frankfort who allegedly made racist remarks while calling a newspaper," the caller said.
"Why go out of our way to insult Hispanics?"
I asked Rossi - three times - if he was bothered by anything that appeared in the newspaper.
Each time he ducked the question, accusing his opponents of masterminding a smear campaign against him.
Enough about Rossi.
The "joke" is far more interesting than the mayor.
It turns out the joke was not original, but plagiarized without attribution by Tippi, The Village Outlook staff commentator.
In various forms, it has apparently been floating around the Internet for years.
In one version, the logger is transformed into a peasant selling a bag of potatoes.
By the time 1970 arrives, the "new math" is in vogue.
I buttume Tippi didn't include the new math version, contained in many of the Internet entries, because she didn't understand it.
Other versions of the joke take on all sorts of political and social issues.
For example:
"Math 1997: "A company outsources all of its loggers ... The average logger employed by the company earned $50,000, had three weeks vacation, a nice retirement plan and medical insurance.
"The contracted logger charges $3 per hour.
"Was outsourcing a good move?"
By 1998, an outsourced logger with four kids goes postal in the logging company corporate offices, mowing down 16 executives and a couple of secretaries.
"Was outsourcing the loggers (still) a good move for the company?"
Here's a question from another version of the joke:
"By laying off 40 percent of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80?
"buttume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment."
Tippi could have used that line to conclude her math history lesson, but chose to attack bilingual education.
The entire thing is somewhat childish, but perhaps that represents the target audience of this political publication.
If the mayor gets the vote of every ignorant person, his supporters may figure he can win the election.
It will be interesting to see if that sort of math really works.
