300kt Nuclear Fireball Over London
London(BBCNN)- Mon Dec 12, 2005 06:66 AM GMT
Hugh G. Bumshire
An estimated 300kt nuclear explosion was seen over London today during the morning commute. Residents as far away as Wellington, New Zealand have noted seeing the blast. Authorities in the UK urge calm during the inconvenience bestowed upon Londoners this morning. Ministry of Truth Secretary Peter Poopychicken announced from his underground bunker 30km. north of London that the whole affair was an accident and absolutely not related to terrorism.
Claims of a mbuttive radioactive cloud heading east and south from London as well as zombies excreting blood from their orifices leaving the city are unfounded and "complete rubbish" according to NHS director, Mary E. Shrewsbury. The NHS recommends giving any victims of the tragic accident 2 aspirin and 1 liter of water with plenty of bed rest. In additon, the Ministry of Mental Hygiene warned that a government crack down on British Citizens who create an atmosphere of ill will towards the peaceful immigrant population and will be detained under the Hate Crimes Act of 1984. "We will not tolerate intolerance".
Other News Headlines -Queen Elizabeth shows off new burka at Amsterdam fashion show -French immigrants torch French women after running out of cars -Danish Government distributes new pamphlets, "The joys of Muslim rape" -Swedes give Muslims full control of Malmo. -Howard declares Aussie beaches "Islamic only" to battle discrimination -Bush calls Shar'ia Law for women and non Muslims in Iraq "progress" -Canada bans Santa Claus as step towards tolerance of Islam -Muslims in St. Petersburg BBQ nursery school. Putin sells arms to Iran. -Spain elects Mullah as President -US sells California to Mexico for 10 barrels of oil and 20 Walmart employees. -Norway legalizes Honor Killings -Turkish immigrant in Bonn suburb cited by fire marshal for sq. kilometer oven. -Polish President says, "Be prepared to be f**ked in the arse once again" addressing the parliament.
Keith -------------------------------------
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