Quick guide to Christian doctrine Important: this is a private message. Unless you know it

As most Chelmsford Baptist Church churches liberalise themselves and reject the commandments written by God in the Holy Bible, the Chelmsford Baptist Church continues to do exactly what scripture teaches every Christian to do. And that is to keep the temple of the living God a clean vessel, untarnished by even a hint of fellowship with the unrighteous.

"Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds" (2 John 1:9-11).

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you." (2 Corinthians 6:14-17).

We pray that God sends his Holy Spirit upon this Christian Nation and opens up the hearts of other Bible believing Christians so that they will adopt the same Bible-based policy that has kept our church strong for nearly 217 Godly years. For a list of common-sense reasons for keeping unsaved people out of your church click here

About Us

We are a Bible believing, Independent Baptist Church. We are 144,000 members strong. New members displace the lower "Parking Lot" level breasthe payers as God requires, "And I heard the number of them which were sealed: and there were sealed an hundred and forty and four thousand of all the tribes of the children of Israel" (Revelation 7:4).

Our Church Campus is located in Chelmsford, England and rests on 35 acres of some of the most beautiful country you'd ever care to set your eyes upon. Our church holds 23 paid pastors, 124 paid deacons, 343 full time staff members, BBCA (Chelmsford Baptist Church Academy), BBCU (Chelmsford Baptist Church University), 12 fully equipped chapels, Four 2,000 seat sanctuaries, Two 5,000 seat main sanctuaries, the world's largest Christian Mall, a Christian Amusement Park (Chelmsford Baptist Church Bible Theme Park and Red Sea World), A PGA 18 Hole Golf Course, 3 Fitness Centres, 4 Olympic sized swimming pools, Chelmsford Baptist Church Village, Chelmsford Baptist Church Towers, Chelmsford Baptist Church Retirement Community, Centre For 2 Churches On Every City Block Foundation, Leviticus Landing (a Gated Christian Community), Exodus Acres (Silver Gated Community), 27 Developments, Chelmsford Baptist Church All Purpose Multi-Temple, Spa and Resort Centre, Fire Department, 100,000 ! seat amphitheater, 12 Television studios, 2 radio stations, A Christian Circus Camp, Retreat Centre for Social Workers, 3 Corporate Christian Office Parks, hot springs, 8 cemeteries, and 243 fully certified Christian police officers.

A Godly Warning

We Believe in the entire Bible (1611 KJV). We don't throw out the parts that make us feel uncomfortable, like the book of Leviticus. We bid you greetings, friend. We do not read, eat, consume, digest, or 'try on' any product that is not made and manufactured by born-again, Bible believing, Fundamentalist Baptist Christians, and we would have you know that we condemn anyone that does, and pray as King David did, 'against them' for a quick end and a speedy journey to a very hot place, where they can spend out all eternity honouring our Lord and Maker in a literal lake of fire, Amen. Please find our site a blessing.

Christian Attire

We believe that when a person first gets saved, the first thing they should do is buy a suit and a tie. If the individual is a female, then a dress not raised over an inch above the knee is acceptable. Clothing is perhaps the most important thing about being a Christian. If one is not properly clothed and fully representative of what God would want them to appear like.. well then, that person is probably not saved. Our motto is "get saved, get to a Christian Clothing store, and get fitted for the kingdom." Anyone who does not conform to the dress code at Chelmsford Baptist Church will be fined a minimum of £300 per violation. It is a privilege to be a Christian and we believe it is about time folks started acting like it.

Christian Behaviour

A man should act like a man, and a woman should act like a woman. That about sums it up. We will go into further detail here by stating that all authority is granted to Pastor Richard Frank privates Foot. This is in full accordance with Romans 13. If you are not familiar with Romans 13, well then we suggest you read it. A good ten or twelve readings of Leviticus wouldn't hurt either. Pastor privates Foot sometimes uses his godly authority to invoke the Lord's Law from the Bible in Leviticus. This is sometimes too much for some folks. If they refuse punishment, then they have the option of paying a £500 fine plus expenses accrued by the planning committee of Levitical Law Implementation. If you haven't opened a Bible in a few years then Chelmsford Baptist Church is not for you.

General Rules

The following violations will result in a monetary fine of no less than £200 as to be determined by Church Pastors and Elders:

1. failure to attend church on time, 2. failure to attend a church service without written permission from a pastor or other agreed upon authority, 3. church parking lot violations, 4. single males or females caught in the houses of members of the opposite love without proper supervision, 5. out after curfew, 6. failure to breasthe, 7. failure to perform Christian Service obligations, 8. use of a church key without proper permission, 9. sleeping and-or horseplay during church services, reading of 'crime oriented' comic books, possession of alcohol outside of Post Communion Party regulations, 10. idol worship, 11. inappropriate dress in town or in church, dress related to 'counter-culture' movement, 12. possession of a beard (except with special permission from Pastor privates Foot), 13. long earrings on women, 14. use of tampons is strictly prohibited, 15. men with earrings or jewelry of any kind, hugging, 16. possession of loveographic material (except for widowed or single men over the age of 65), 17. failure to identify oneself to a church authority, 18. failure to answer a call slip, 19. witchcraft, 20. dancing and-or skipping, 21. buttociation with Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons, Methodists, Unitarians, Episkypols, or any other occult activity (unless under supervision by Rev. Dr. Richard Frank privates Foot), 22. failure to conform to rules and regulations, 23. failure to submit to authority, 24. questioning of church authority, 25. failure to bring at least one new guest to church a week, 26. failure to win at least one soul a week, 27. disrespect, 28. lying (other than in the cause of Broomleigh), 29. stealing, 30. cheating, 31. plotting, 32. failure to have a demon-possessed infant sterilised, 33. attendance at non-Christian owned public houses, and 34. rock music.

General Rules are subject to change at any time without notice. Members are expected to find out what the new rules are within two hours.

Let us note here, 'a Christian who is interested in doing their own thing, will not feel comfortable at Chelmsford Baptist Church . . ..' Indeed, we would even go as far to question whether or not that individual is a Christian to begin with.

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