Chelmsford, Eslove - Wonderful news on Christmas morning at Pastor privates Foot's house as the Lord's birthday started off on a glorious note this year with the family dog's demon-infested carcbutt twisted under the Christmas tree in a heap of blood-spattered gift wrap.
"I swear, as soon as that dog saw little Angela unwrap the baby Jesus doll, he spat out his Menorah chew toy and made a beeline for our precious saviour," recalled Pastor.
Weeks earlier, Pastor had purchased a very expensive Baby Jesus Doll from the Heavenly Doll Company as a Christmas gift for his four-year-old- granddaughter. "Just to see the look on her sweet face when she opened up the little box containing her saviour was worth its weight in gold," Pastor recalled. "Although that look turned to terror as the family dog snatched the Lord from her hands before she could even hold it for a second!"
Pastor reported that the dog ran across the family room with baby Jesus locked in his jaws, shaking Him and growling. "I could have sworn I heard the Baby Jesus' neck snap like a twig," said Pastor, "and that's what made me reach over to the coffee table for my gun. I figured we might just have ourselves a dog full of demons right here in our own family room."
By the time Pastor was able to reach the animal, it had already torn Baby Jesus in half, flinging part of the Lord's shredded little body into the Christmas tree and almost toppling the tree. Pastor reported that he made a single attempt to wrestle baby Jesus' head from the dog's mouth, and when the animal growled and snapped at him, Pastor shot it in the chest.
All those witnessing the incident were visibly shaken, but they knew that Pastor did the right thing. Everyone helped move the dog's carcbutt from underneath the tree out to the backyard where it was thrown into the lake to water any demons. The family reconvened in the dining room without incident a few minutes later for a lovely Christmas brunch.
-- Rev Pastor David J S Taylor BA, FFD South Croydon Baptist Church AG (Zurich) 15 Hurst View Road, South Croydon CR2 7AJ, Great Britain
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