SCIENTIST SUFFOCATES AT SMITHSONIAN Freak Accident Evolution Real Weirdo

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rueters) -- A longtime anthropologist at the Smithsonian Insibreastution suffocated yesterday in a freak accident while searching for answers to man's origin and ancestry. A Smithsonian official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said Chris Krolczyk was unable to extricate his head from his rectum because he in- advertently had used Crazy Glue instead of Vasoline. 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