Joke Du Jour, Jewish Zen


* If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

* Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

* Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip ... joy. With theÊ second ... satisfaction. With the third, peace. With the fourth, aÊ Danish.

* Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

* Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health orÊ a life without problems. What would you talk about?

PING: DEE re: freezing bacon
Lefty Four to six weeks? Why such a short time? You're talkin' freezer, right? This method sounds like lots of work and very time consuming. When I get bacon home (I usually buy the pre...

* The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "oy."

* The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does notÊ take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing ofÊ others. The Tao is not Jewish.

M. Potatoes with these ingredients
Years aho I used to mess around with milk, cream, butter seasonings etc. Now I simply add a...

* Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this andÊ attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

* Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as theÊ wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha withÊ such rounded shoulders.

* Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve allÊ things faster.

* To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousandÊ flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom hasÊ ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

* Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mindÊ that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

* The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The Buddha saysÊ there is no "self." So, maybe you are off the hook. -- Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-unpleasant woman." -Jack Nicholson

 




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