Joke Du Jour, Laws of the Universe... 031306

These are the laws of the natural universe

ÊÊÊLaw of Mechanical Repair: Ê After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

ÊÊÊLaw of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

ÊÊÊLaw of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

ÊÊÊLaw of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

ÊÊÊVariation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

ÊÊÊBath Theorum: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

ÊÊÊLaw of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

ÊÊÊLaw of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

ÊÊÊLaw of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

ÊÊÊTheater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

ÊÊÊLaw of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

ÊÊÊMurphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

ÊÊÊLaw of Dirty Rugs-Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet-rug.

ÊÊÊLaw of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

ÊÊÊLaw of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

ÊÊÊBrown's Law: Ê If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

ÊÊÊOliver's Law: Ê A closed mouth gathers no feet. -- Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-unpleasant woman." -Jack Nicholson