SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE:
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like love? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Rabbits are dumb! 2223Here is a very good recipe from Cafˇ de Fˇdˇrations in Lyons Patricial Wells published in her Bistro...
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have love? Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the needles on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during love? Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education clbuttes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the love Ed clbutt uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.
Rabbits are dumb! 2222I had the same problem a couple of years ago... One suggestion, mix the cayenne pepper and some black...
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F-word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale? A northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this poo..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides. -- Peace, Om.
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-unpleasant woman." -Jack Nicholson
