On Tue, 14 Mar 2006 13:42:34 -0600, hubert liverman
IN AN EFFORT TO HELP OUTSIDERS UNDERSTAND THE SOUTHERN UNITED STATES, THE FOLLOWING LIST WILL BE HANDED TO EACH DRIVER ENTERING THE AREA:
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a dirt road. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your SUV. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to corn fed when talking about our women will get you whipped... by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
Vegan techniqueI posted this on a vegan NG but the activity was so low I didn't get much back. I like to to serve good food that is according to the tastes and preferences of my...
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order a steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
10. You can bring Coke into my house but it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
Vegan technique 2132David Hare-Scott General advice: don't try and "convert" too many things to being vegan. Simply cook things that are vegan in the first place. Indian cooking in general is...
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Bbutt, too - and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 10 goes two ways. Interstate 65 goes the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.
16. The Opener refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the ball into the water hazard. It spooks the fish.
cookery courseIn general terms these days the whole internet is a textbook and can often provide a more comprehensive and better world-view of food and processes...
19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot, his name is, "Sir"... no matter how old he is.
Now, enjoy your visit and go home.
Pan who lives across the bay from Mobile -- Pan Ohco I would like to see the bottom of my monitor, but I have cats.
