My first dead spread 4325At about that age, I went to my best friend's mother's funeral. I had spent the last year watching the woman die of breast cancer. Before that, I spent a lot of time...
The Jewish Funeral meal is not served at the synagogue, since most services are held at a funeral home and there are no provisions made for meals there. If it is held at the synagogue, the sponge cake and booze and perhaps some herring and challah, too are quickly served and eaten, so that the funeral itself can take place. I have never attended services with such a meal.
However, shortly before the end of the services, the rabbi announces that the mourners will be expected at the home of one of the relatives or friends of the deceased, after the interment at the cemetery, usually two or three hours hence.
In the past, that meal was prepared by friends of the family of the dead person while the burial took place. Now, the family orders the food or has it at home and all that has to be done is to arrange it on a table, either by hired help or a friend or two. It consists of "dairy dishes", dairy meaning that no meat is on the table, even though fish is prominently displayed, smoked salmon, white fish, several kinds of herring, as well as salads and cheeses, bagels, rolls, breads and lots of desserts. There will be coffee and tea and wine as well as hard liquor. There is usually so much food, the sweets and drinks take up a separate table. Visitors come and go, so that the apartment or house does not get too full of guests and it is not unusual, that more than a hundred come to be with the bereaved. The rabbi may come at sundown and conduct services at that home.
Many Jews observe a one week period of mourning, during which condolence visits are made and during which food is always present.
