I need chili making advice
What's a Russian guy doing trying to make chili, huh?... Well, you have to try something different. My...
Michael "Dog3" Lonergan That's just being a good host. A friend of ours has coeliac disease, and if in doubt I check the menu with her. On one occasion we were having an "austerity dinner" featuring baked beans, and I got her to bring the bread.
I think you should always ask people you don't know well about any medical or religious restrictions. But as for the true "picky" eater, whatever you do is wrong. BIL is one of them. Fortunately we hardly ever see him. Last time he was here when he saw the espresso machine he declined coffee on the totally untrue grounds that he hardly ever drinks it (couldn't have his brother showing off his skill as a barista). He said he'd have tea, but was not pleased when asked to choose from half a dozen different varieties! "I'll just have ordinary tea," he grunted with the air of someone who was being imposed upon. His wife thought she might have chai, but did her best to make us feel inhospitable when we couldn't provide soy mil and she had to drink it black. Fortunately it was only afternoon tea and they managed to choke down some fruit cake without comment - which was fine because I hadn't made it anyway. You don't cook for people like that, you either take them out (somewhere cheap) or get in pizza.
Needless to say, in the distant past when we were guests of BIL (for the last ten years he has been living a very long way away), he had the most amazing ability to make us feel like intruders.