Real Women

Real women -vs- Ladies

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.

Freeze into ice cubes for future use in cbutteroles and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!

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Ladies - Cure for headaches:

Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.

You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares!

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Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your butt on the couch, with your feet up anyway.

************************************************************* Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

************************************************************* Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on the bottom of the cake.

Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a unpleasant woman for you.

************************************************************* Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include brushing egg whites, so don't do it.

************************************************************* Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.

************************************************************* And finally the most important tip.... *************************************************************

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,

"Damn... that was fun!!

-- Jen