Today's color: lavender. Setting: The Walmart vineyard Theme: Cheese.
HUH?
Food and Dinining: Huntsville, Alabama 4265Hi Jill and all! I wish I'd known that you were coming to town Jill, I could have told you where the fun restaurants are. Huntsville is, by and large, an engineering town...
Apparently she has imaginary alcoholic relatives now. Wow, outdoor lighting does NOT look good on her.
Nice editing out of "Cheeze Whiz" ("Cheese. In a jar!") and then a quick explanation of why she loves it. Whatever. How many cheeses were in that
I loved how SLop brought that cheeze sauce to a full boil. I am positive it's burnt on the bottom by the little black bits perculating up.
Again with the inept "Cheese. In a jar!" post-production editing. Oh, one is sppsd to put the sauce ONTO the pasta, not dump it in with the sauce.
I have never heard someone make so many scarping and screeching noises as he (or she) cooked in my life.
Loved how her bad case of the "drunken shakes" resulted in varying sized and unevenly-folded calzones. I'm sure the guests just LOVED that ("Do I take a small overcooked one or suffer through a large undercooked one?". And she baked them in a toaster oven? At 20 minutes a batch? Just. damn. Using the fork on the edges may be professional, but it only serves to emphasise your uneven edges. Lookit SLop's reaction to the hot calzone she just stuffed into her mouth! Ha-HA! (a la Nelson)
You Know You're From New York WhenYOU'RE FROM NEW YORK WHEN... 1. YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE. 2. YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE...
It takes her "hours" to make poached pears so she uses canned and then she tells us to save the "juice" from the can. It's called "syrup", you big dummy! So she strains them, then puts them back into the can!
Round petit fours, cut from frozen cheese-cake so it doesn't stick to the mini-cookie cutters. Wouldn't dipping them in warm water do the same? Look, they're still sticking. Some tip! That cheesecake looks like it was mauled. How is one sppsd to eat those "petit fours" with all that glop oozing down the sides and stacked up with that sauce and starwberries and mint.
After she added that glop of canned raspberry to that port sauce, it looked like something clotted menses. Yuck.
Oh yeah, what a great tip for a impromptu bar; Two wine barrels and a hunk of plywood... Oh yeah, I have those in my garage. Oh yum, wine from a box and grape juice. Served at a vineyard.
Oh yeah, the tablescape featured bonsai christmas trees. Yeah, like I want to have to lean around the centerpiece to talk to whomever is on the far side of the table.
-- WARNING!!! Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We buttume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or being exposed to crapbutt tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.
