Way OT: Phrases you Hate 932

are asking, and exactly since drive

OK sure -

1) "I could care less" - yeah I'm sure you could freaking care less! The phrase is "I couldn't care less" As in, no matter how hard I try I could not give less of a damn. Why is this so hard to grasp? If you "could care less" you obviously are not exactly in the truly ambivalent camp now are you.

2) "The most unique" - look, unique in the dictionary means one of a kind. One. That means there is nothing else like it good or bad. So how in the freaking hell can something be "more unique" as in more one of a damn kind? One means one. One does not imply two or more. One - got it?

3) "Help us help you" - ok so it isn't enough I pay too much for your crap, your shoddy products, your customer service rep with an Indian accent who insists his name is Steve and he lives in San Diego. No, now it is "my" freaking job to help you out and do your freaking damn job for you. Get a clue. I am the customer - YOU figure out how to help ME. Hint - you can start by NOT making me deal with some arrogant Indian needle in Bangladesh who insists his name is Steve or John or what have you. Hell we don't even name our kids that in this country anymore - get a clue - they are all named Tyler or Kodhye or Zachary. Do I want to be reminded every damn time I call to ask why my satellite dish resets every 3 seconds that my job is probably the next one to be shipped to some Indian poo hole where somebody will work for 1-4 the wages I got and take on a name that has not been used since 1979?

4) "Do we have your permission to review your records?" - Uh, yeah, what the f*** do you think I'm calling for anyway? You think I want to talk about the weather or that my niece is knocked up or that my wife is screwing the mailman? Sure, review my damn account - MAYBE it will help you answer a few freaking questions like why in the hell you billed me 2300.00 for my cell phone last month????? Just what is the point of asking ME if YOU can review YOUR company records? Is this some weird sort of psychological bullcrap that is supposed to maybe make me feel in control or something? Am I supposed to say no? "NO! Keep your prying eyes off my records you scumbag!" Is that what you expect me to say?

5) "Can I help you find anything" - Yeah right. I need help finding the butter. Oh where is the butter? I've shopped in this store for 20 years and you think I need help finding the damn butter? Want to know how you can help? Explain to me why the cost of butter is 5 bucks a pound when we have so damn much milk produced in this country you have to pour it down the drains to make an excuse as to why butter is 5 bucks a freaking pound.

6) "Did you find everything you want?" - Uh no. I found everything I need to survive as in food, water, and a case of wine. What I want is respect, love, kindness, tolerance and understanding. Good love would be nice too but since every woman these days has more Tattoos Pictures and piercings than Popeye the sailor I think I will just have to make myself happy with what I am buying in your store.

What was the question again?

Paul