What would you do 920

Giggles

Let me rephrase this as a way of understanding it correctly. If the cooking were spectacular, you'd put up with the boor of a husband. If the husband were a delight to be with, you'd put up with horrible cooking. The trouble, the way I understand it, is that nothing about the evening is good enough to make it worthwhile putting up with everything else. Even the kids only play together somewhat nicely. If the kids were best friends who truly enjoyed each other and got a lot out of each others' company, you might consider putting up with both bad cooking and bad husband.

I'm going to suggest not making an excuse for not accepting the dinner invitation. If you say that you're busy, your hostess will only invite you again until you're not busy. It will get harder and harder to get out of it. Instead, say point blank that you prefer getting together with her without involving both families. Then stonewall if she asks why or guesses why. ("I realize your husband wants to come along, but I'd still like to get together when it's just the two of us." Repeat as necessary.) Ultimately that's more polite than lying.

--Lia