Sorry basket case David Moyes called a late night press conference at llanGoodison Parc to unveil his two signings. Members of the press core looked around embarrbutted as the once called "best young British manager" took his hands from his pockets to reveal that he had stuck a pair of googly eyes to each hand and had applied his wife's lipstick to the inside of each thumb. He introduced his right hand as lightning fast Spanish forward "Juan Carlos Footieballie" who he claimed wouldn't answer questions as he couldn't answer questions as he didn't yet speak any English. He claimed this hand puppet was on the verge of the national team and was a major signing for Everton as all the big clubs in the world wanted to sign him.
The deluded manager then went on to introduce his left hand as Scottish fullback Hairy McHaggis-dunoo-wee-man, who would only be able to whisper to the manager as he had a sore throat. So while members of the press all prayed they were some place else the broken ginger manager pretended to have a whispered conversation with his left hand and then announce the results of this badly acted farce in that Hairy was delighted to sign for this mbuttive club, who he has supported since he was a zygote, and how he chose the blues over an offer worth 20 times more from Real Madrid as he wanted to work with the best young British manager.
Meanwhile Everton chairman Bill Kenwright ruled out any other transfer movement as "Happy Lad" didn't place in the 7:30 race at Belle Vue dog track.
-- Thank you kindly
POD {ñÀî}
"Girls, don't you wish your fella was hot like me?"
