I missed the UK weather, I missed the food", Michael Owen October 2005

Bullpoo, you little Welsh bastard. Madrid planted you out. I can just see you on this grey afternoon in the North East thinking "I'm glad I am not sat next to my pool in Spain sipping San Miguel in the sun". What is a traditional dish in Newcastle? Fried pies and fried mars bars? Their "food" is worse than Owen's lies. And I have not forgotten Shearer's part in McDonald's crusade to make all kids obese.

Newcastle United striker Michael Owen does not think he will play club football abroad again in the future. Owen left Real Madrid for Newcastle after one season at the Bernabeu and told BBC Radio Five Live: "I very much doubt I will go abroad again. "I wanted to see what it was like. I have opened my eyes to it now. "But I love living at home. I knew I would always be coming back to the Premiership, it was just a matter of how many years." The 25-year-old signed for Newcastle for a club record £17m - and has scored two goals for his new club. "I was open-minded about going to Spain but I always knew that the Premiership was where I wanted to come back to," he added. "I had a good time in Madrid, both on and off the pitch but I missed the UK weather, I missed the food, the Premiership and being around English people. "It is where I was born and brought up and where I have always played my football. "I was looking forward to getting back and now I'm back I'm enjoying every minute of it." -- Every single SU and FCUM member is now an enemy of Manchester United, and the Conservative Party. Do what must be done. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy.