Really sorry to break it to you all like this but

Mikel Arteta has no intention of swapping Everton for Liverpool.

Damnit, he was just the sort of quality midfielder we could have done with to build our team around, we could have got shut of Xabi, Stevie and Momo with this boy strutting his stuff.

It's ruined my day

Maybe the BS will get another boost this week when Hibbert declares he has no intention of joining AC Milan or that Leon Osman won't be off to The Bernebeau.

Arteta - I won't swap blue for red Thursday March 23 2006

Everton's midfielder Mikel Arteta has chosen the week of the Merseyside derby to insist he has intention of joining Liverpool.

The rumours around Merseyside for some weeks have been that Arteta - great friends with fellow Basque and Liverpool star Xabi Alonso - was going to switch sides in the summer.

But Arteta, sent off when the sides met at Goodison Park in December when Everton lost 3-1, makes it clear he will not be swapping blue for red. He said: "There has been so much speculation, people in the street have been asking me about it. But I'm really honest in saying I'm not going there. Definitely not."

The 23-year-old is more eager to put one over former Real Sociedad colleague Xabi Alonso at Anfield on Saturday.

He added: "We are really looking forward to it - we want to go there and do something important.

"The way we lost the first game at home, we are going to go out there and try to make a good fight."

Arteta is a doubt for Saturday's derby after jarring a nerve in his back during last weekend's 4-1 victory over Aston Villa.

But he said: "I want to play and this is a game we desperately need to win to put right what happened in the first match earlier in the season."