best of the best 261

At 12:47:23 on 09-07-2006, Dave G delighted uk.sport.football.clubs.liverpool by announcing:

My favourites:

Best prediction

Boston Globe

Pre-tournament guide, Boston Globe: 'ENGLAND: like the New York Mets. Mbuttively, ridiculously overrated by their media, always involved in some sort of comic downfall, insane injuries, woeful management. A car crash waiting to happen, at which stage the local media go berserk.'

Best coach

Ricardo La Volpe, Mexico

Marcello Lippi for the performance, Otto Pfister for style, but La Volpe for the attitude. Told reporters: 'Get out of my face!You know nothing. Don't break my balls, you f***ing idiots.' Spent most of his time at Mexico's camp eating doughnuts under a roped-off parasol. Before the tournament, resigned three times live on air during heated radio interviews, only to deny doing so the next day. 'The media are mental,' says La Volpe. 'They are nothing.'

Best flair player

Frank Lampard

But seriously. Kaka was Brazil's one contender but, despite it all, Cristiano Ronaldo takes it for his girly, pansy stepover and double backflip routines.

Worst Fifa moment

Stripping fans

Stewards taking Dutch fans' trousers away because they carried a non-sponsors' name.

Biggest losers

Prostitutes

Attacked 'stupid wet men' after the predicted industry boom failed to materialise. Hundreds of Czech, Russian and Spanish prostitutes left Germany before the quarter-finals due lack of demand. 'We saw it all so differently,' said a Colombian. 'I just sat in my brothel alone.'

Worst behaviour

The press

24: Number of months the British press spent warning about English hooligan chavs looking to rip up Germany and disgrace English football. 24: Number of hours for first reports of journalist misconduct to come through, including: theft of a Fifa laptop from a press centre; wrestling eight police and two soldiers over press pbutt; naked drunk pundit up a lamppost; and an attempt to sell press accreditation on black market.

Saddest tout

Morning after England and Brazil went out: 'It sucks,' said our local American tout. 'English and Brazilians spend money, goddamn Italians and French don't.' Getting tickets for any game was no problem. 'All our tickets come from the Fifa guys. They're totally corrupt.' Most unusual tout: The one-legged Scouser in a France shirt.

-- "The Liverpool fans are something special. I remember that, when we were struggling a couple of years ago, they were still supportive and patient." - Gerard Houllier