we don't care, what you say... for scooby

"there's things I haven't told you.........."

Forget England, 'real' supporters put club before country

Nicky Campbell Thursday June 1, 2006 The Guardian

Like an estranged partner excluded from the birth of his child, Sven-Goran Eriksson and his staff were kept away from Wayne Rooney's hospital scan last week by Sir Alex Ferguson. I half expected the Swede to don an overwashed Superman costume and scale Big Ben in protest. Many would like to shove Rooney's right foot down the Govan gob but, in putting club well before country, Ferguson is no different from thousands of English fans. Are they bothered about Germany? Not much.

In the next few weeks the streets of England will come to resemble Portadown and the Shankhill Road but would you rather your team won the Champions League or England won the greatest tournament of all? Since a section of Manchester United fans started singing "There goes your World Cup" when Rooney was injured at Chelsea I asked that very question of Mark Longdon, the chairman of the Independent Manchester United Supporters buttociation. He just laughed at me. "I would rather Man Utd won the Worthington Cup than England won the World Cup. I am currently trying to source an Argentina flag." And I thought the Jocks were bad. Of course United fans' resentment at how David Beckham was received at other grounds after France 98 lingers like a bad smell and Old Trafford players get a miserable reception from sections of the Eng-er-land following but there is also a huge element of that most divine English comedy - snobbery. Mark says: "You very rarely see supporters of the big clubs at England games. It's club sides who never play in Europe and their fans get a taste of the buzz. Little teams like Bolton and Manchester City. TNS Solutions is their idea of a European tie. Quality."

Ben Dimech from Red Action, the Arsenal fanzine, points out that you'll never spot Gooners On Tour flags. It's all Carshalton, Bromley, Kidderminster and Slough. It is Betjeman's England, not Wenger's. The "real" fans see the England followers as arrivistes - country bumpkins enjoying a fantasy night in the West End with a supermodel before sloping back out to their bearded wives in the sticks. As Dimech points out: "It's a lovely chance for them to follow world-clbutt players."

Both he and Mark claim to be in the majority among committed club supporters. I'd hazard that, when it is 0-0 against Brazil with five minutes left and the boys in white get a penalty, they might just feel compelled to put down the sudoku for a minute but ultimately it is a no brainer.

So where dost thrive unwavering devotion to the noble cause of "this royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle, this earth of majesty, this seat of Mars . . . this England"? I dropped a league and spoke to Charles Ross, editor of the excellent Wolves fanzine, A Load of Old Bull, and he gave me none. "I would rather Wolves had finished sixth and made the play-offs than England win the World Cup." But surely he is English and we are talking about the most cherished sporting prize on the planet? Which one is he on? "For proper football fans it is club every time. I have got friends who are England supporters and go to get the points but they would far rather see Wolves do well."

And just like that old sketch about the English clbutt system - "He looks down at me and I look down at him" - Ross added: "But for the followers of the little clubs it is a lovely day out, so good luck to them."

I have an image of a St George's cross hanging near some corner flag of a foreign field emblazoned with the words "Kidderminster Harriers FC". It is surely at outposts like this where the devoted fans reside; those who, like most county cricket followers, have a first loyalty to their country. Would Alan Shepherd, the chairman of the Kidderminster Harriers Supporters Trust prefer Kiddy to be in the Football League or Becks to hold up the Holy Grail.

"No contest." At last, I thought, a true patriot. I was wrong. "It's Kidderminster first, the supporters trust XI second and England a poor third."

"This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this - Kidderminster." So you see, when Sir Alex pees on every lamp-post north of Soho Square, he is being a proxy for "proper" fans. I vow to thee my season ticket."

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